Saturday, July 2, 2016
HE'S HOME!
Thank you GOD for keeping my husband and his team safe through yet ANOTHER deployment. I am so relieved to have my man home!
Thursday, June 30, 2016
We're getting close
Well the good thing about deployments... they must all come to an end! I am not able to publish dates for obvious reasons, but I am so glad we are on the downhill side of this deployment. People sometimes mention to me, how "easy" I make this look. I want to just laugh and tell them to come be a fly on the wall one day.... I guess I hide my emotions well.
There is always such a transition with daddy comes homes. I'm sure this is with any circumstance, when one has been away for a long time. The kids want his attention, I want his attention... I always joke saying I need a clone, I can't imagine what goes on in my husband's head during this transition. Not only is he trying to keep everyone happy and give everyone attention, he is still working. You see... movies portray things so different than what is in real life. Husband comes home from deployment, husband gets two weeks leave time.... YEAH NOT REALLY! Don't believe everything you watch. God bless these guys, working so hard... even after coming home.
So things I struggle with... after hubby returns.
-Letting him take out the trash
-Having an extra set of hands and eyes to watch the kids (when I have had to do it by myself over the past several months). I realize this is a good thing, but its hard to give that up.
-Letting him cut the grass.... I love to work in the yard, we argue over this when he comes back.
- Meal planning... oh I loathe this.
- Not being selfish when it comes to his time (there are little people in the house that need and want his attention too).
- Understanding that he might have to take a few trips right when he comes home to finish up deployment "stuff".
Things I can't get enough of.... after hubby returns.
- His hugs and love!
-Watching him with the kids, and their smiles on his and their face.
-Doing his laundry!! I really don't like doing laundry period, but after not seeing his clothes in the hamper for months and months.... this brings a smile to my face.
- Being able to sleep soundly... (I don't sleep well when he is away).
- Knowing he is safe and sound.
-Being in the same time zone!
-Feeling like you are on a first date (even though you have been together almost 20 years) .
- Being able to turn your phone off, without having to worry about a missed call.
- Not flinch every time you get a call with someone on the other line asking to speak to Maj. ____ wife.
- Just having our family back together, under one roof!
- on and on and on.........:)
Homecomings are so fun! You get that nervous feeling, but happy feelings all at the same time. You pray to God that he continues to keep your hubby (and his team), safe while traveling and while they are transitioning with the new team. You get to fill the fridge with goodies you know your hubby likes. You get to finally tell your kids that the time is drawing near.... and yes, your daddy will be coming home soon.
Thank you God for protecting my husband and keeping him safe all these months. Thank you for looking after the kids and I. Please continue to do so, until my husband gets home safe and sound. In Jesus name I pray! AMEN
There is always such a transition with daddy comes homes. I'm sure this is with any circumstance, when one has been away for a long time. The kids want his attention, I want his attention... I always joke saying I need a clone, I can't imagine what goes on in my husband's head during this transition. Not only is he trying to keep everyone happy and give everyone attention, he is still working. You see... movies portray things so different than what is in real life. Husband comes home from deployment, husband gets two weeks leave time.... YEAH NOT REALLY! Don't believe everything you watch. God bless these guys, working so hard... even after coming home.
So things I struggle with... after hubby returns.
-Letting him take out the trash
-Having an extra set of hands and eyes to watch the kids (when I have had to do it by myself over the past several months). I realize this is a good thing, but its hard to give that up.
-Letting him cut the grass.... I love to work in the yard, we argue over this when he comes back.
- Meal planning... oh I loathe this.
- Not being selfish when it comes to his time (there are little people in the house that need and want his attention too).
- Understanding that he might have to take a few trips right when he comes home to finish up deployment "stuff".
Things I can't get enough of.... after hubby returns.
- His hugs and love!
-Watching him with the kids, and their smiles on his and their face.
-Doing his laundry!! I really don't like doing laundry period, but after not seeing his clothes in the hamper for months and months.... this brings a smile to my face.
- Being able to sleep soundly... (I don't sleep well when he is away).
- Knowing he is safe and sound.
-Being in the same time zone!
-Feeling like you are on a first date (even though you have been together almost 20 years) .
- Being able to turn your phone off, without having to worry about a missed call.
- Not flinch every time you get a call with someone on the other line asking to speak to Maj. ____ wife.
- Just having our family back together, under one roof!
- on and on and on.........:)
Homecomings are so fun! You get that nervous feeling, but happy feelings all at the same time. You pray to God that he continues to keep your hubby (and his team), safe while traveling and while they are transitioning with the new team. You get to fill the fridge with goodies you know your hubby likes. You get to finally tell your kids that the time is drawing near.... and yes, your daddy will be coming home soon.
Thank you God for protecting my husband and keeping him safe all these months. Thank you for looking after the kids and I. Please continue to do so, until my husband gets home safe and sound. In Jesus name I pray! AMEN
Saturday, June 4, 2016
What gets me through
People often ask me how I live this life... you know the one where your husband is constantly away, has unscheduled trips, has times when you can't get him on the phone because he is in "meetings" with important people, has a job that moves you all over the place, works extremely long hours, receives phone calls all hours of the day/and night, and is usually deployed every 3 years to high threat areas. My response.... "The same way you live you life".
You see, I grew up in a military family, my dad was in the service. We moved every 3 years, we changed schools/teachers more often than most, would go weeks/months not seeing my dad. I think God prepared me for this life style I live now. Funny, I told myself I would never marry someone in the military. I know I laugh every time I think about this too. Happily married over 17 years...we're still making it work and loving every bit of it.
So again, to answer your question.. how do I "do this?"
GOD!! An amazing husband who supports me and pushes me all at the same time, family, spiritual friends, amazing friends who pick me up on my deepest days, and laugh with me on my funniest days. Our kids... boy do they keep me going. When I look at them, I see part of my husband starring at me (well more of my husband, we all know the twins are clones of my husband!) They keep me going physically and emotionally. Scriptures, devotionals, and the list goes on.
I don't understand the lifestyle, where one has never moved around. I don't understand the lifestyle where your spouse is home by 5:00pm everyday. I don't understand the lifestyle where you don't live apart from your spouse on months end, and have weeks where you can't "talk." Do I envy that lifestyle... sure, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But goodness... am I proud of what my husband does... you better believe it. I have grown a lot over the years.... moving, meeting new people, holding the fort down while he is away. I'm grateful for it. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle... I promise. I've lived through a lot (as many people have). So look at your life, and pat yourself on the back, and push forward.
We had our unit Family Fun day today. Of course hubby wasn't there to enjoy it, but I was. I am proud of these guys.. my husband and the guys he works with.. I'm proud to walk along side these spouses multitasking with the kids...in the heat, patiently waiting for the jumpers to do their thing. In any profession, you take the good and the bad. Stand proud and carry on... encourage others, and smile at the ones who need a pick me up. Support your husband and know that those "long days, months, etc" won't last forever.
We are on the downhill side of this deployment! CAN I GET AN AMEN!! What gets me through "it".... knowing deployments don't last forever! I want to use this post to thank all the people that have helped me get through the last several months. I'm grateful you don't laugh at me, when I'm still in my PJ's at 3:00 in the afternoon. I'm thankful you help out when I've got sick kids, I'm thankful you tolerate my quirkiness. But most of all, I'm thankful you support what my husband and the military does for us!
You see, I grew up in a military family, my dad was in the service. We moved every 3 years, we changed schools/teachers more often than most, would go weeks/months not seeing my dad. I think God prepared me for this life style I live now. Funny, I told myself I would never marry someone in the military. I know I laugh every time I think about this too. Happily married over 17 years...we're still making it work and loving every bit of it.
So again, to answer your question.. how do I "do this?"
GOD!! An amazing husband who supports me and pushes me all at the same time, family, spiritual friends, amazing friends who pick me up on my deepest days, and laugh with me on my funniest days. Our kids... boy do they keep me going. When I look at them, I see part of my husband starring at me (well more of my husband, we all know the twins are clones of my husband!) They keep me going physically and emotionally. Scriptures, devotionals, and the list goes on.
I don't understand the lifestyle, where one has never moved around. I don't understand the lifestyle where your spouse is home by 5:00pm everyday. I don't understand the lifestyle where you don't live apart from your spouse on months end, and have weeks where you can't "talk." Do I envy that lifestyle... sure, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But goodness... am I proud of what my husband does... you better believe it. I have grown a lot over the years.... moving, meeting new people, holding the fort down while he is away. I'm grateful for it. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle... I promise. I've lived through a lot (as many people have). So look at your life, and pat yourself on the back, and push forward.
We had our unit Family Fun day today. Of course hubby wasn't there to enjoy it, but I was. I am proud of these guys.. my husband and the guys he works with.. I'm proud to walk along side these spouses multitasking with the kids...in the heat, patiently waiting for the jumpers to do their thing. In any profession, you take the good and the bad. Stand proud and carry on... encourage others, and smile at the ones who need a pick me up. Support your husband and know that those "long days, months, etc" won't last forever.
We are on the downhill side of this deployment! CAN I GET AN AMEN!! What gets me through "it".... knowing deployments don't last forever! I want to use this post to thank all the people that have helped me get through the last several months. I'm grateful you don't laugh at me, when I'm still in my PJ's at 3:00 in the afternoon. I'm thankful you help out when I've got sick kids, I'm thankful you tolerate my quirkiness. But most of all, I'm thankful you support what my husband and the military does for us!
Thursday, April 28, 2016
He's Got The Whole World In His Hands
He's got the whole world in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got my brothers and my sisters in his hands,
He's got my brothers and my sisters in his hands,
He's got my brothers and my sisters in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got the sun and the rain in his hands,
He's got the moon and the stars in his hands,
He's got the wind and the clouds in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got the rivers and the mountains in his hands,
He's got the oceans and the seas in his hands,
He's got you and he's got me in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got everybody here in his hands,
He's got everybody there in his hands,
He's got everybody everywhere in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got the whole world in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got my brothers and my sisters in his hands,
He's got my brothers and my sisters in his hands,
He's got my brothers and my sisters in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got the sun and the rain in his hands,
He's got the moon and the stars in his hands,
He's got the wind and the clouds in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got the rivers and the mountains in his hands,
He's got the oceans and the seas in his hands,
He's got you and he's got me in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
He's got everybody here in his hands,
He's got everybody there in his hands,
He's got everybody everywhere in his hands,
He's got the whole world in his hands.
The kids had their Spring program today... it's always bitter sweet having to attend these without daddy. As I glanced around the Sanctuary, I saw married couples sitting together, grandparents, great grandparents. The room was filled with so much love, for these sweet precious kids. I sometimes get a tad jealous of others being their with their extended family, then I remember to keep my eyes focused on what is most important and that is seeing the joy on our kid's faces!
The songs they sing, always puts joy in my heart. Nothing beats watching children sing about our precious God. It's so fulfilling knowing my kids learn so much about our savior, in a school setting. I'm so glad they will be attending the same school next year, for Kindergarten. Not only have they learned so much academically, but spiritually too.
Tonight, I wanted to pull the lyrics for this song, because it was one they sang. I had several people mention to me... just how touching this song is, for us to be on this deployment journey.. and how meaningful it is. So reassuring that God does in fact, have the WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS!
Can't wait for daddy to be able to attend programs, practices, nightly dinner at the Monk table, breakfast in bed - snuggle time again. I know he can't wait either. In the meantime, I'm so thankful our kids have such a strong heart... and they know daddy is here with us all the time, everyday... we just close our eyes and feel him in our heart.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Military Wife You are Not Alone
Dear Military Wife,
I know some days, you feel completely alone. Especially, those days when your husband is halfway around the world. I want to assure you, you will survive and you can do this this! Time to pull up your big girl panties and carry on.
Some days, things won't go as planned. A flat tire, a busted washer machine, a leaking window, car trouble, sick kids... I could go on and on. You have two choices.. you can dwell in your sorrows about it, or you can just fix it and move on. When I say, "Fix it", ASK FOR HELP (if you need it). Ask your friends, your neighbors. Look in the good ole yellow pages for mechanics, post on Facebook for reliable people to help you. God knows, us military folks don't know "local people" like others may.... it's time to ask for help and referrals.
Don't panic if things don't go as planned. Life happens, I think it's Gods way of testing us, under pressure as they say. Remember God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. God places people in our lives to help us, and hold us up when we are crumbling. Yeah, I know... you are sitting there saying, "But I hate asking for help!" Well mama... I'm here to tell you, it's ok! We all need help from time to time. Have you ever heard the saying, "IT TAKES A VILLIAGE?" Well, I believe it and so should you.
Prioritize your "problems." I once had a leaky sink for 4-5 months, hubby was away. Yeah, I wanted it fix.. but instead of worrying about it, I stuck a bucket under it and called it a day. I had a washer leak and water was EVERYWHERE (again, while hubby was away). Does this problem need to be fixed, yeah I would say that's pretty important. Dealing with insurance problems... yes, I used to worry about this. Now... ha, let it go. I only say this, because eventually it will all work itself out. I have spent endless hours on the phone dealing with Tricare... it will make a person crazy! Some days, its not worth the effort, nor time, to deal with them. Just save it for another day... again, I promise it will work itself out in time.
You are not alone! Help one another, and ask for help. My neighbors have helped me deal with more mess this deployment than I think I've ever had (and that says a lot!) My husband's job has him on the road and away from home, more often than not. So thankful for my neighbors for helping me out. My husband thanks you, and we are extremely grateful to you! Wives of these husbands... thank you! I know your time is precious with your hubby, I appreciate you "sharing" them with me to fix things. I'm writing this, for advice... but also to remind myself I am not alone. I also have to remind myself that problems will happen... that's life. Either you can dwell (Jennifer Monk), or you can carry on and fix it the best you know.
Keep your eyes looking forward mamas! You've got this, the sun always shines in the morning! Keep smiling and know this too shall pass!
Signed a fellow military wife
****** Shout out to Karen and Walt, Valerie and Brandon for saving me and my "house/car" troubles. I'm knocking on wood that we are "problem free" until hubby gets home. Until then... I owe you guys my heart and hugs! I appreciate your support and most of all your friendship!
I know some days, you feel completely alone. Especially, those days when your husband is halfway around the world. I want to assure you, you will survive and you can do this this! Time to pull up your big girl panties and carry on.
Some days, things won't go as planned. A flat tire, a busted washer machine, a leaking window, car trouble, sick kids... I could go on and on. You have two choices.. you can dwell in your sorrows about it, or you can just fix it and move on. When I say, "Fix it", ASK FOR HELP (if you need it). Ask your friends, your neighbors. Look in the good ole yellow pages for mechanics, post on Facebook for reliable people to help you. God knows, us military folks don't know "local people" like others may.... it's time to ask for help and referrals.
Don't panic if things don't go as planned. Life happens, I think it's Gods way of testing us, under pressure as they say. Remember God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. God places people in our lives to help us, and hold us up when we are crumbling. Yeah, I know... you are sitting there saying, "But I hate asking for help!" Well mama... I'm here to tell you, it's ok! We all need help from time to time. Have you ever heard the saying, "IT TAKES A VILLIAGE?" Well, I believe it and so should you.
Prioritize your "problems." I once had a leaky sink for 4-5 months, hubby was away. Yeah, I wanted it fix.. but instead of worrying about it, I stuck a bucket under it and called it a day. I had a washer leak and water was EVERYWHERE (again, while hubby was away). Does this problem need to be fixed, yeah I would say that's pretty important. Dealing with insurance problems... yes, I used to worry about this. Now... ha, let it go. I only say this, because eventually it will all work itself out. I have spent endless hours on the phone dealing with Tricare... it will make a person crazy! Some days, its not worth the effort, nor time, to deal with them. Just save it for another day... again, I promise it will work itself out in time.
You are not alone! Help one another, and ask for help. My neighbors have helped me deal with more mess this deployment than I think I've ever had (and that says a lot!) My husband's job has him on the road and away from home, more often than not. So thankful for my neighbors for helping me out. My husband thanks you, and we are extremely grateful to you! Wives of these husbands... thank you! I know your time is precious with your hubby, I appreciate you "sharing" them with me to fix things. I'm writing this, for advice... but also to remind myself I am not alone. I also have to remind myself that problems will happen... that's life. Either you can dwell (Jennifer Monk), or you can carry on and fix it the best you know.
Keep your eyes looking forward mamas! You've got this, the sun always shines in the morning! Keep smiling and know this too shall pass!
Signed a fellow military wife
****** Shout out to Karen and Walt, Valerie and Brandon for saving me and my "house/car" troubles. I'm knocking on wood that we are "problem free" until hubby gets home. Until then... I owe you guys my heart and hugs! I appreciate your support and most of all your friendship!
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Holidays
Easter, the day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die." (John 11:25-26). So thankful we got to face time with daddy this morning. I had texted him the night before saying I would call him when the kids wake.... unfortunately he was in a meeting so wasn't able to watch the kids open their Easter baskets. After all, it's not about the baskets, candy, or little toys... we celebrate Easter for HIM!
Any holiday you aren't able to celebrate with your hubby or loved one, is hard. Ask anyone who's in the military and they will tell you. Sure, some jobs require long hours, or holidays worked... but you see, spending multiple holidays apart is another story. Last night, the kids and I watched the beautiful sunset on our back porch. I sat quietly watching the sky, thinking about things. I thought about all the Easters we have spent apart, all the birthdays, recitals, Anniversaries, Thanksgivings, first day of school, the list goes on and on. I am not writing this to have you feel sorry for me, I'm writing this to remind you to be grateful! Be grateful for your friends who step in during these times, be grateful for family members who text to wish you well, be thankful for people in your church who come forward, especially during holidays to let you know they are thinking about you.
Sometimes I resent the military for taking my husband away for long periods of time. I shouldn't, but I do. I support our military and I support my husband's job... just speaking from the heart. When the kids are sick, and my husband says he's sorry for not being here to help out... I assure him, it's not his fault he's not here. I love that he loves his job, and he's good at it. Not many people could do his job. Doesn't make things any easier when he is far away... but I have to remember, it's his job. When I hear the kids say, "I wish daddy was here, why can't he be here." I breathe deep, and tell them the truth. "Daddy is helping other people right now, he wishes he were here, but he can't be here right now. He will be home soon." GULP. Nothing tears at your heart more, than to hear your kids ask for something they can't have right away... especially it being their daddy.
So when I reflect back the 16 + years we've been married, and more than 1/2 of that has been spent apart.. I am thankful God keeps us together. I'm thankful God put my husband in my life, I'm thankful HE has kept our marriage strong (through the time apart, and while he is home). Missing holidays, birthdays, Anniversaries, etc... comes with the territory. We've learned to just celebrate when daddy is home and carry on.
On this day, as facebook is blowing up with all these remarkable family pictures, of great looking families.... I have to remember, we will get that again one day, our family together. In the meantime.. I say thank you to my family and friends who keep me going. I'm so grateful for the love I have here, and the friends I've made. I'm thankful how they love on my kids and swoop me up when they know I am falling. I got that family picture.... via Facetime, but we have our picture too :)
Military wives... sending you BIG HUGS during holidays that you feel you are alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I promise you this.
Any holiday you aren't able to celebrate with your hubby or loved one, is hard. Ask anyone who's in the military and they will tell you. Sure, some jobs require long hours, or holidays worked... but you see, spending multiple holidays apart is another story. Last night, the kids and I watched the beautiful sunset on our back porch. I sat quietly watching the sky, thinking about things. I thought about all the Easters we have spent apart, all the birthdays, recitals, Anniversaries, Thanksgivings, first day of school, the list goes on and on. I am not writing this to have you feel sorry for me, I'm writing this to remind you to be grateful! Be grateful for your friends who step in during these times, be grateful for family members who text to wish you well, be thankful for people in your church who come forward, especially during holidays to let you know they are thinking about you.
Sometimes I resent the military for taking my husband away for long periods of time. I shouldn't, but I do. I support our military and I support my husband's job... just speaking from the heart. When the kids are sick, and my husband says he's sorry for not being here to help out... I assure him, it's not his fault he's not here. I love that he loves his job, and he's good at it. Not many people could do his job. Doesn't make things any easier when he is far away... but I have to remember, it's his job. When I hear the kids say, "I wish daddy was here, why can't he be here." I breathe deep, and tell them the truth. "Daddy is helping other people right now, he wishes he were here, but he can't be here right now. He will be home soon." GULP. Nothing tears at your heart more, than to hear your kids ask for something they can't have right away... especially it being their daddy.
So when I reflect back the 16 + years we've been married, and more than 1/2 of that has been spent apart.. I am thankful God keeps us together. I'm thankful God put my husband in my life, I'm thankful HE has kept our marriage strong (through the time apart, and while he is home). Missing holidays, birthdays, Anniversaries, etc... comes with the territory. We've learned to just celebrate when daddy is home and carry on.
On this day, as facebook is blowing up with all these remarkable family pictures, of great looking families.... I have to remember, we will get that again one day, our family together. In the meantime.. I say thank you to my family and friends who keep me going. I'm so grateful for the love I have here, and the friends I've made. I'm thankful how they love on my kids and swoop me up when they know I am falling. I got that family picture.... via Facetime, but we have our picture too :)
Military wives... sending you BIG HUGS during holidays that you feel you are alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I promise you this.
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Run down...
Catchy title huh? Have you ever felt like you can't catch up? I know you are nodding your head right now. I can't seem to catch a breath, lately... without something new happening. I'm so over this deployment. I'm tired, I miss my man, I'm trying of juggling everything... from the house, to finances, to sickness. You often hear those words... "God doesn't give us anything we can't handle". I get that, but goodness gracious, UNCLE!
Sophi is dealing with her fever virus once again. This has been going on monthly since July of last year. I've changed pediatricians, and we're awaiting our follow up appointment with her immunologist next week. I can't pray hard enough, that this Dr. gives us some reassurance and some answers. When you hear your 4 year old mutter the words... "Momma, I'm so tired of this happening every month," you want to just take it all away!
I've been having some medical issues personally. So many things since moving to Ms, I just want to ask God... why? Is it this state? Only kidding, my friends who are reading this. Is it the stress we've been under? Why, I'm only 41. I feel like I have aged 10 years in the past few years. I want answers for myself, and want to know how to fix things. I'm a fixer... I don't do good when I can't fix "broken" things.
So as I am writing this... I caught myself texting hubby, "Can we please swap places for a week?" Knowing I wouldn't survive an hour doing what he does, not alone be able to live out of a tent for months on end. I realize, how selfish I am... Everyone has things that happen from time to time. When things aren't going our way, or have illnesses that wear you down, it's easy to fall apart. I must remember tomorrow is a new day, and the sun always rises!
So in closing.... Looking to hire the following.....
Personal Doctor who can make our daughter better.
Personal Doctor who can take my medical issues away.
Someone who is willing to leave their family and work in a not so pleasant atmosphere to free up my hubby, so he can come home.
Personal cook
Personal accountant to pay bills, handle calls, handle rental property.... etc. You get the picture.
Personal errand runner, this includes all grocery shopping.
Personal maid.
That should do it... I don't ask for much
Need to get over this hurdle and push through as they say. Deployments sucks, I need my man here to help me. Slowly feeling defeated and I hate this feeling. This too shall pass, I know it will. God, is hearing me and knows my needs. Thankful he can carry me through.
Sophi is dealing with her fever virus once again. This has been going on monthly since July of last year. I've changed pediatricians, and we're awaiting our follow up appointment with her immunologist next week. I can't pray hard enough, that this Dr. gives us some reassurance and some answers. When you hear your 4 year old mutter the words... "Momma, I'm so tired of this happening every month," you want to just take it all away!
I've been having some medical issues personally. So many things since moving to Ms, I just want to ask God... why? Is it this state? Only kidding, my friends who are reading this. Is it the stress we've been under? Why, I'm only 41. I feel like I have aged 10 years in the past few years. I want answers for myself, and want to know how to fix things. I'm a fixer... I don't do good when I can't fix "broken" things.
So as I am writing this... I caught myself texting hubby, "Can we please swap places for a week?" Knowing I wouldn't survive an hour doing what he does, not alone be able to live out of a tent for months on end. I realize, how selfish I am... Everyone has things that happen from time to time. When things aren't going our way, or have illnesses that wear you down, it's easy to fall apart. I must remember tomorrow is a new day, and the sun always rises!
So in closing.... Looking to hire the following.....
Personal Doctor who can make our daughter better.
Personal Doctor who can take my medical issues away.
Someone who is willing to leave their family and work in a not so pleasant atmosphere to free up my hubby, so he can come home.
Personal cook
Personal accountant to pay bills, handle calls, handle rental property.... etc. You get the picture.
Personal errand runner, this includes all grocery shopping.
Personal maid.
That should do it... I don't ask for much
Need to get over this hurdle and push through as they say. Deployments sucks, I need my man here to help me. Slowly feeling defeated and I hate this feeling. This too shall pass, I know it will. God, is hearing me and knows my needs. Thankful he can carry me through.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Beach Bound without daddy
Packing for our trip in a few days, to the beach and it is taking me down memory lane. The first time we took the kids to the beach, they were six months old. The last time we went was in 2014. Hate that daddy can't be with us for this trip. The kids have mentioned being a little sad, that daddy can't join us. Sophi has asked me multiple times, if I can make this drive, "Mama, daddy always drives on trips!" Goodness, she thinks so much like me.
I think about Spring Break, as a time to relax and be with family. No school, no getting up early to get the kids ready for school, no hustle and bustle... just quiet time. It's sometimes hard to carry on life here, while daddy is working everyday... long hours, in a "not so practical" environment. As I look at these pictures, I realize just how fast time flies. Look how little they were in this first picture.... and two years ago. Goodness, I wish time would slow down (for their sake), yet, wish this deployment would speed up.
Daddy, thank you for booking this trip for us, before you left. We marked this on the calendar for the kids, so they would have something to look forward too. We've counted down, and they are excited... yet, they wish you could be with us, as I do to. Thank you for working so hard, and taking care of us!! I promise we'll take lots of pictures, and wish you were by us every moment of the day!
Daddy, sent some packages a few days ago. The kids knew he was sending a little a "happy" their way. They didn't quite understand how he would ship things, or go "shopping." Thank you amazon, for being here! Their little faces lit up and they were so excited. These gifts, were going to wait until Easter, but they were too excited. A little piece of you was here, as they closed their eyes with excitement. On a side note... thanks for the rice cooker. You know I was looking around for one, and had no idea how to pick one out. You see guys, we've had this little jewel (the white one), over 16 years. My mother in law got it for us before we even got married! It's lasted this long, but is has begun not cooking rice as it should. I have to say I got a little emotional throwing this baby away... this appliance was here before marriage, before kids, before all the moves.... so silly I know, but you get attached to things, familiar things.
Daddy, we miss you and love you so much! It's been a little over two months since you left. The time has gone by relatively quick, yet some days still drag!! I know the days must be monotonous for you where you are. Remember to look up to the sky and know we're all sleeping under the same moon and stars! Love you!
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Psalm 56:8
A dear friend shared this beautiful painting with me a few weeks ago. I was in awe, and I just couldn't believe the talent this young lady had. She has lived through so much heartache in her life, yet always comes out on top, with a smile on her face. The scripture reads.... "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." This picture represents everything this verse says.... It touched me, and I'm so grateful she shared it with me.
We have all experienced heartache before... big and small. We have all experienced loosing a loved one, we have experienced a loved one dealing with sickness, we have experienced so many things big and small that are so hard to comprehend. It's easy for us to question God, why things happen. Why are people taken from us so soon, why are people dealing with sickness and cancer, why do people do hateful things to others? We have experienced so much within our city over the past few weeks... it makes you question. A friend of mine, lost her father in law to a hurtful and horrible crime. It makes me scared for our city, our world, our country we live in. We're raising our kids in this world... we have to protect them! I have been emotional the past few weeks, thinking about these harmful acts, and it's hard to get out of the "rut" as they say, and push forward.
You see... as this verse says, "God keeps up with all of our sorrows." He knows the sorrows we will all have. He knows it's coming, sometimes before we do. Aren't we glad, we don't have to worry about that? I know sometimes, we all want to be in control of everything... but goodness... I'm thankful I'm not. The verse goes onto to say, "You have collected all my tears in your bottle." I'm sure my jug is overflowing!! I was going through a rough patch a few weeks ago, crying over spilled milk. Breaking down in bible study class, breaking down over songs, breaking down over my kids not giving me a moment to breathe. I've picked myself up and have learned from it ( I think). "You have recorded each one in your book". This you can interpret anyway you like. I'm so grateful God has written my story, and knows the todays, the tomorrows, the next years, and my eternal life.
I found comfort in this drawing and in this verse. I am not alone... even on those days, when I feel like I am. My husband is not alone, even though he on the other side of the globe. We always have someone we can lean on... and I'm ever grateful for that. I just had to share this picture with you, and this scripture. We are never alone mamas! Military wives, we are never alone.... God's got this! Your tears, your sorrows, everything! Carry on... it's all going to be ok!
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Stages of Deployment
If you are a military spouse, you have either already dealt with a deployment, or will one day be dealing with one. It's truly sad the world we live in, but it's inevitable that your husband's time will come. It's never easy to prepare for, or live through a deployment. You try your hardest to stand tall, and trudge through the days, but as everything else, some days are easier than others.
There are "stages" as they call it, during a deployment... I have hit the "second stage". See the first stage, is learning about the deployment. We actually learned far in advance with this one. I'm not sure if it makes things easier, or more bearable, it's all just very hard. I'm sure I was very clingy with by husband and wanted him all to myself. Yet, he still had work to do, and a job that required him working long hours. Our kids needed him, and he needed them. It's hard to find that balance.
I know he could hear the panic in my voice, as we would prepare needed documents. Have you ever prepared a Will? Have you ever talked to your husband about who would take care of your kids, in an event something happened to you and him both? That is a lot to swallow. We did this two years ago, with his last deployment... but you always have to adjust these papers. You know in your heart NOTHING will happen to your husband (or you), but it's important to have these papers for your kids.
As time grew near, I almost wanted him to just hurry and leave. I know this sounds odd, but the waiting around is so very hard. You just know in your heart, the sooner they leave, the sooner they will return.
Second Stage - I am at this stage. The day he left was very hard, it was hard on him, me, the kids. It's an emotional time saying goodbye to your spouse knowing you won't see him for several more months. You look back that last time at the airport to catch that glimpse of him walking through security. You hold it together ( as much as you can), in front of him, but completely loose it when he is out of your sight. Your kids loose it, you have to juggle carrying two kids to the car, who are sobbing, as you are sobbing too. You tell the kids it's ok to cry, and you pray to God, that HE will help you get though this. You also tell yourself that God WILL keep him safe, and out of harms way. You find peace that it's out of your hands... but you still want to be in control.
During this time, your life is a complete roller-coaster. You are happy one day, sad the next. You are watching the days past quickly, than the weekend hits and days start to slow. You have trouble sleeping, and begin to let your anxiety get the best of you. I was hoping this wouldn't happen to me, surviving many other times my husband has been away.. but it does. You decide to let the kids sleep with you, just for peace of mind (and cuddles). It's just easier that way.
I had a complete ugly cry last night. I had not cried really hard since he left, until last night. Not sure if I was just completely worn out from a busy week, not sure if it was just late.... who knows. It's hard to be strong all the time, and sometimes a good cry is all you can do. Thankful the kids were resting easy, in our bed. Sophi always asks me if she can see my eyes. She worries about me I think. If I ever get tearied eyes, she comes and hugs me and says, "Mama, look at my eyes." She cries, if I cry. I can't stand to see our kids cry. I guess she doesn't like to see mama cry.
This morning I woke, with a new day, and the hopes I would keep my emotions in check. Well, I messed up and watched parts of Dear John..... DON'T do this, when you have a husband deployed. What in the world was I thinking. Anyway, it's been a few emotional days the past few nights.... I'm entitled to it, I guess. It's important to give yourself grace and tell yourself, this too shall pass.
Third Stage - We're not quite here yet.. but this is the stage that you are in such a routine, and you are able to carry on the daily tasks without blinking an eye. This is the stage when people ask how you are holding up, and you say, "Oh, we're great," and the person looking at you is thinking.... really, seriously? I'm not sure if you just mask everything because you know you have to get through it... or maybe God just gives us the strength to carry on. We are getting to this stage... we're in somewhat of a routine, I just have to remember to not cram so much in during a week, where I get physically exhausted. This 41 year old, can't carry on like I used to. The kids need me at 100%, so I have to remind myself of this.
Fourth and Final Stage - Last Month of Deployment.... stay tuned!! :)
So I ask for you all to pray this and remember this scripture.. Joshua 1:9 – This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
I will be strong, even though I might be completely falling apart inside. I will not be discouraged, because I know our God above will look after my husband and our family. Love this scripture because I know I am not alone... HE will carry us through.
There are "stages" as they call it, during a deployment... I have hit the "second stage". See the first stage, is learning about the deployment. We actually learned far in advance with this one. I'm not sure if it makes things easier, or more bearable, it's all just very hard. I'm sure I was very clingy with by husband and wanted him all to myself. Yet, he still had work to do, and a job that required him working long hours. Our kids needed him, and he needed them. It's hard to find that balance.
I know he could hear the panic in my voice, as we would prepare needed documents. Have you ever prepared a Will? Have you ever talked to your husband about who would take care of your kids, in an event something happened to you and him both? That is a lot to swallow. We did this two years ago, with his last deployment... but you always have to adjust these papers. You know in your heart NOTHING will happen to your husband (or you), but it's important to have these papers for your kids.
As time grew near, I almost wanted him to just hurry and leave. I know this sounds odd, but the waiting around is so very hard. You just know in your heart, the sooner they leave, the sooner they will return.
Second Stage - I am at this stage. The day he left was very hard, it was hard on him, me, the kids. It's an emotional time saying goodbye to your spouse knowing you won't see him for several more months. You look back that last time at the airport to catch that glimpse of him walking through security. You hold it together ( as much as you can), in front of him, but completely loose it when he is out of your sight. Your kids loose it, you have to juggle carrying two kids to the car, who are sobbing, as you are sobbing too. You tell the kids it's ok to cry, and you pray to God, that HE will help you get though this. You also tell yourself that God WILL keep him safe, and out of harms way. You find peace that it's out of your hands... but you still want to be in control.
During this time, your life is a complete roller-coaster. You are happy one day, sad the next. You are watching the days past quickly, than the weekend hits and days start to slow. You have trouble sleeping, and begin to let your anxiety get the best of you. I was hoping this wouldn't happen to me, surviving many other times my husband has been away.. but it does. You decide to let the kids sleep with you, just for peace of mind (and cuddles). It's just easier that way.
I had a complete ugly cry last night. I had not cried really hard since he left, until last night. Not sure if I was just completely worn out from a busy week, not sure if it was just late.... who knows. It's hard to be strong all the time, and sometimes a good cry is all you can do. Thankful the kids were resting easy, in our bed. Sophi always asks me if she can see my eyes. She worries about me I think. If I ever get tearied eyes, she comes and hugs me and says, "Mama, look at my eyes." She cries, if I cry. I can't stand to see our kids cry. I guess she doesn't like to see mama cry.
This morning I woke, with a new day, and the hopes I would keep my emotions in check. Well, I messed up and watched parts of Dear John..... DON'T do this, when you have a husband deployed. What in the world was I thinking. Anyway, it's been a few emotional days the past few nights.... I'm entitled to it, I guess. It's important to give yourself grace and tell yourself, this too shall pass.
Third Stage - We're not quite here yet.. but this is the stage that you are in such a routine, and you are able to carry on the daily tasks without blinking an eye. This is the stage when people ask how you are holding up, and you say, "Oh, we're great," and the person looking at you is thinking.... really, seriously? I'm not sure if you just mask everything because you know you have to get through it... or maybe God just gives us the strength to carry on. We are getting to this stage... we're in somewhat of a routine, I just have to remember to not cram so much in during a week, where I get physically exhausted. This 41 year old, can't carry on like I used to. The kids need me at 100%, so I have to remind myself of this.
Fourth and Final Stage - Last Month of Deployment.... stay tuned!! :)
So I ask for you all to pray this and remember this scripture.. Joshua 1:9 – This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
I will be strong, even though I might be completely falling apart inside. I will not be discouraged, because I know our God above will look after my husband and our family. Love this scripture because I know I am not alone... HE will carry us through.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Sick Day Survival Tips
Well, last weekend we were all a little under the weather. Sophi had her "monthly fever", which only lasted 24 hours- PRAISE GOD. Liam's allergies have been bothering him, and I was feeling crummy. When you have sick kids, or when you aren't feeling well, life stinks! Knowing good and well, when we are sick, it's God's way of telling us we need to slow down. I often still want to throw my hands up in the air and blame someone. When hubby is traveling..... I naturally blame the military. I don't blame him, personally, it's clearly not his fault he has to travel all the time... I do however blame the military. Is this fair, no! Do I support his job, of course I do. Does it make things challenging when he's out of country.... you better believe it!
After being married 16 + years, to someone who has either been in the military or has done contracting overseas..... you learn to cope and survive. Being away from family is hard, not having your mom or siblings to call on, is hard. But somehow, God always gives me the strength to carry on and push through. It breaks my heart when hubby texts me, apologizing for not being able to be home. That little text saying, "Hang in there baby, I'm so sorry I'm not there". It's all I can do, to keep myself from jumping through the phone to pull him through... but know I can't. I try to put on a strong face for him, but I'm human and crumble sometimes. God bless my husband! He works so hard, and sacrifices so much.. I can't say enough how much love and gratitude I have for him.
After all this rambling, I felt the need to post some survival tips I have learned over the years. I know some of these might sound crazy or dumb.... but again... until walking in a military spouse's shoes, you can't judge :) Yes, lots of men work long hours, lots or men travel.... but when your spouse is away in a "high threat area" for months upon months, you learn to lean on others.
1) Rely on your faith... HE always gets you through!
2) Have a list of neighbor's phone numbers on speed dial.
3) Have a few babysitters lined up (always)
4) Always stock kid's Motrin..... NEVER, NEVER run out of this!
5) Always stock Gatorade, sprite, crackers, popsicles, and chicken noodle soup. (Thank you Karen for helping me out with Sprite and tea this time).
6) Always have cash, for those neighbors that might have to do a Kroger run for you.
7) Always have gas in your car! Never let it go below 1/4 tank.
8) Always have Clorox wipes, Lysol, and toilet paper!
9) Find a Doctor's office who is nearby. After hours is must!
10) Always have laundry detergent! Always!! When the stomach bug hits, you don't want to run out of this!
11) Don't take your "well days" for granted. What I mean by this, if you feel like just having a lazy day while the kids are at preschool... DON'T! Make sure all the birthday presents are bought for upcoming parties, make sure your refrigerator is stocked, make sure errands are run. I've learned the hard way too many times, not doing this and it has caught up with me. I'm a organizer and a doer... I love to help others, love to be a room mom for the kid's class. While doing this, I know people get sick of me "planning" things far out in advance. Well guys, again, I can't wait until the last minute to do things, because when you do... guess what.... A kid will get sick, you will get sick... just not worth it.
12) Give yourself GRACE! You will get through this, you will survive, and everyone will feel better!! Lots of snuggles, IPAD time if need be, videos for the kids... yes, it's called the survival game.
13) Pay for Amazon Prime... you will thank me later!
14) ASK FOR HELP!! It has taken me many years to finally do this. It's ok to ask for help, we all need it from time to time.
Those are my little tips for the day... hope you found a little humor in this post, but also hope you found some helpful ideas. Not only does this apply to military mom's but any mom out there! Please feel free to add to it, if you like. We can all learn from others!! This list is ongoing by the way....
After being married 16 + years, to someone who has either been in the military or has done contracting overseas..... you learn to cope and survive. Being away from family is hard, not having your mom or siblings to call on, is hard. But somehow, God always gives me the strength to carry on and push through. It breaks my heart when hubby texts me, apologizing for not being able to be home. That little text saying, "Hang in there baby, I'm so sorry I'm not there". It's all I can do, to keep myself from jumping through the phone to pull him through... but know I can't. I try to put on a strong face for him, but I'm human and crumble sometimes. God bless my husband! He works so hard, and sacrifices so much.. I can't say enough how much love and gratitude I have for him.
After all this rambling, I felt the need to post some survival tips I have learned over the years. I know some of these might sound crazy or dumb.... but again... until walking in a military spouse's shoes, you can't judge :) Yes, lots of men work long hours, lots or men travel.... but when your spouse is away in a "high threat area" for months upon months, you learn to lean on others.
1) Rely on your faith... HE always gets you through!
2) Have a list of neighbor's phone numbers on speed dial.
3) Have a few babysitters lined up (always)
4) Always stock kid's Motrin..... NEVER, NEVER run out of this!
5) Always stock Gatorade, sprite, crackers, popsicles, and chicken noodle soup. (Thank you Karen for helping me out with Sprite and tea this time).
6) Always have cash, for those neighbors that might have to do a Kroger run for you.
7) Always have gas in your car! Never let it go below 1/4 tank.
8) Always have Clorox wipes, Lysol, and toilet paper!
9) Find a Doctor's office who is nearby. After hours is must!
10) Always have laundry detergent! Always!! When the stomach bug hits, you don't want to run out of this!
11) Don't take your "well days" for granted. What I mean by this, if you feel like just having a lazy day while the kids are at preschool... DON'T! Make sure all the birthday presents are bought for upcoming parties, make sure your refrigerator is stocked, make sure errands are run. I've learned the hard way too many times, not doing this and it has caught up with me. I'm a organizer and a doer... I love to help others, love to be a room mom for the kid's class. While doing this, I know people get sick of me "planning" things far out in advance. Well guys, again, I can't wait until the last minute to do things, because when you do... guess what.... A kid will get sick, you will get sick... just not worth it.
12) Give yourself GRACE! You will get through this, you will survive, and everyone will feel better!! Lots of snuggles, IPAD time if need be, videos for the kids... yes, it's called the survival game.
13) Pay for Amazon Prime... you will thank me later!
14) ASK FOR HELP!! It has taken me many years to finally do this. It's ok to ask for help, we all need it from time to time.
Those are my little tips for the day... hope you found a little humor in this post, but also hope you found some helpful ideas. Not only does this apply to military mom's but any mom out there! Please feel free to add to it, if you like. We can all learn from others!! This list is ongoing by the way....
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Perspective
Well, we're down two weeks!! I love receiving text from my husband reminding me of this. This week started off a little challenging. Liam has been having a hard time, not wanting to go to church, not wanting to go to school. He wants to just lay low in the house, and do nothing. He's been acting out more than usual as well. Daddy and I decided it would be best to start face timing in the morning to jump start the kid's day. That seemed to have done the trick. Our week picked up, and the kids didn't skip a beat.
Not sure why I wanted to title this blog entry perspective, it's the first word that came to mind. Perspective - a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. I've run across so many things this week, in our house and outside our house that brings this word to mind.
Finding daddy's t-shirt at the bottom of a laundry basket.... I usually hate putting away clothes... yet, when I come across a t-shirt that belongs to daddy, who is not here right now, I feel a smile run across my face. I decided to leave the shirt there, folded nicely at the bottom of the basket... for next time I put my laundered clothes away I will be reminded of his presence. I know crazy, but when your loved one is away for months on end... finding his laundry is uplifting!
Dog tags - Some might think of them as just a necklace with one's name on it. Well, when your son is having a hard time and doesn't want to go to school.... you put said "dog tags" around his neck, and you see his face light up. It's always connecting, when you see daddy's dog tags on face time, and than have your own set. Yes, he only wore them one day to school, but I think it helped him. BTW, shout out to the awesome teachers at BMK for helping my kids cope with his. A gentle text through the day, saying your son is fine puts this mom at ease! I thank you!
Cologne - An instant spray and the awesome smell of daddy is around us. Does wonders for a pick me up during a yucky day!
Mailbox - People don't send mail like they used too. I miss that! We live in such a busy world, that texting and emails are the way to go. But when you go to the mailbox and receive something so humbling, you forget how easy a little note can make you feel. Sophi received a grant to pay for ballet classes. Yeah, there were bills surrounding this big packet... but all that was irrelative to the package we received containing a congratulations letter. Thank you "Our Military Kids" for helping us pay for Sophi's ballet. We're awaiting another grant for Liam's karate class.
I mentioned texting in my previous post.. it's not a bad thing, it can be good. Running late to a bible study class, thinking about just detouring to the house so I can just spend some quiet time alone. But, receiving a text from a friend, who is in your bible study class telling you to breathe and that you are loved... is such a pick me up. So thankful for my bible study class... So thankful for the friends I have made through there, so thank for my prayer warriors on my side lifting me and my family up! I love you all!
Meals - I know strange I write this. Trying to tie it in to the word perspective. See, when hubby is away, I try not to ask for help... I want to handle things on my own, and not reach out. Well, I've learned over the past few months (or past year I should say), to let it go! When your dear friends in your neighborhood start up a meal plan to bring your meals.... it's humbling. My attitude about it at first was... NO WAY, PLEASE DON'T! I felt bad every time the doorbell rang and a friend's face had a hot meal in their hands. I had a good friend (well a few friends), remind me this is their way of showing their appreciation to hubby and us, for what we are going through. My attitude about it quickly changed, and I'm ever so grateful! We've received little "happies" left at our doorstep, the kids have received little toys to play with. Humbled!!
So yes... perspective. Next time you look at the basket full of clothes that need to be put away... think of how happy I get when I see a shirt that belongs to Ellis. When you see a kid wear a necklace, perhaps it might make him feel better. Cologne... oh this is my favorite!! Remember the scent that makes you happy, go buy a bottle and keep it near... it helps the days pass much better! Mailbox and bills... you never know when a little "pick me up" might bring you joy when walking to the mailbox. Texts.... tell someone you love them, check on people, tell them you are thinking about them. A little text goes a long way sometimes! Meals... grab a bag of popcorn to take to a neighbor (Thank you Walt and Karen), grab a bag of M&M's to stick in someone's mailbox.... they might just be showing their gratitude, and are just showing they love you and are thinking about you.
Not sure why I wanted to title this blog entry perspective, it's the first word that came to mind. Perspective - a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. I've run across so many things this week, in our house and outside our house that brings this word to mind.
Finding daddy's t-shirt at the bottom of a laundry basket.... I usually hate putting away clothes... yet, when I come across a t-shirt that belongs to daddy, who is not here right now, I feel a smile run across my face. I decided to leave the shirt there, folded nicely at the bottom of the basket... for next time I put my laundered clothes away I will be reminded of his presence. I know crazy, but when your loved one is away for months on end... finding his laundry is uplifting!
Dog tags - Some might think of them as just a necklace with one's name on it. Well, when your son is having a hard time and doesn't want to go to school.... you put said "dog tags" around his neck, and you see his face light up. It's always connecting, when you see daddy's dog tags on face time, and than have your own set. Yes, he only wore them one day to school, but I think it helped him. BTW, shout out to the awesome teachers at BMK for helping my kids cope with his. A gentle text through the day, saying your son is fine puts this mom at ease! I thank you!
Cologne - An instant spray and the awesome smell of daddy is around us. Does wonders for a pick me up during a yucky day!
Mailbox - People don't send mail like they used too. I miss that! We live in such a busy world, that texting and emails are the way to go. But when you go to the mailbox and receive something so humbling, you forget how easy a little note can make you feel. Sophi received a grant to pay for ballet classes. Yeah, there were bills surrounding this big packet... but all that was irrelative to the package we received containing a congratulations letter. Thank you "Our Military Kids" for helping us pay for Sophi's ballet. We're awaiting another grant for Liam's karate class.
I mentioned texting in my previous post.. it's not a bad thing, it can be good. Running late to a bible study class, thinking about just detouring to the house so I can just spend some quiet time alone. But, receiving a text from a friend, who is in your bible study class telling you to breathe and that you are loved... is such a pick me up. So thankful for my bible study class... So thankful for the friends I have made through there, so thank for my prayer warriors on my side lifting me and my family up! I love you all!
Meals - I know strange I write this. Trying to tie it in to the word perspective. See, when hubby is away, I try not to ask for help... I want to handle things on my own, and not reach out. Well, I've learned over the past few months (or past year I should say), to let it go! When your dear friends in your neighborhood start up a meal plan to bring your meals.... it's humbling. My attitude about it at first was... NO WAY, PLEASE DON'T! I felt bad every time the doorbell rang and a friend's face had a hot meal in their hands. I had a good friend (well a few friends), remind me this is their way of showing their appreciation to hubby and us, for what we are going through. My attitude about it quickly changed, and I'm ever so grateful! We've received little "happies" left at our doorstep, the kids have received little toys to play with. Humbled!!
So yes... perspective. Next time you look at the basket full of clothes that need to be put away... think of how happy I get when I see a shirt that belongs to Ellis. When you see a kid wear a necklace, perhaps it might make him feel better. Cologne... oh this is my favorite!! Remember the scent that makes you happy, go buy a bottle and keep it near... it helps the days pass much better! Mailbox and bills... you never know when a little "pick me up" might bring you joy when walking to the mailbox. Texts.... tell someone you love them, check on people, tell them you are thinking about them. A little text goes a long way sometimes! Meals... grab a bag of popcorn to take to a neighbor (Thank you Walt and Karen), grab a bag of M&M's to stick in someone's mailbox.... they might just be showing their gratitude, and are just showing they love you and are thinking about you.
Saturday, January 16, 2016
A very challenging night
Today was a little quiet... quiet for all. We didn't really do much, had a lazy day as the kids call it. When it got to be bedtime, Sophi looked at me and asked me why I never cry. I was taken back, because I cry a lot... I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and am not afraid to hide it. I looked at her, and told her I do cry... I cry when I'm not feeling well, I cry when I miss daddy.... She said, "Well, you aren't crying now." I simply replied that I try to be strong, and don't want to cry in front of them. I told them I often have my quiet time when they go to bed, or in the shower. As soon as I said that... Liam started crying really hard. I sat down on the floor and held him, then my tears started flowing. Sophi, kept hiding her face and standing aside from us. I held Liam and asked him what was wrong. He told me he missed daddy, and wanted him home. I told him, I missed him too... very much. I assured him that daddy missed us too.. probably more than we miss him... and that he would be home "soon". Funny, in our language, we use the word "soon" knowing that really isn't the case.
Sophi saw the tears coming from my eyes, as I held Liam. She looked up at me and said, "Mom, you are crying!" I said yes... remember crying is healthy and its ok to cry. She held back tears and stood aside a little bit. I told her, sometimes its important to cry and hold each other. She came and sat in my lap and said, she was going to be strong this time and not cry. I assured her that would be ok. I can't imagine what is going on in these kid's minds.... last time daddy deployed they were 17 months old. They really didn't remember much. It's only been a week, and they are grasping it more than I thought.
We skipped baths, and got dressed. Liam asked to wear one of daddy's "army shirts." Sophi asked to wear daddy's "red shirt". For the longest I didn't even realize what she was referring too.. until we went into our room. You see... I always leave daddy's night clothes on our nightstand, when he goes out of town. I don't wash them, I leave them there, where he left them... until he comes back. Sophi wanted to snuggle with his red sweatshirt that was there. Easy fix... snuggling with items that belong to daddy are the best way to "have him here" when he is so far way. Liam carried his "special forces" book along side of him and we all got in bed. I prayed to God to let us all cry in times of loneliness, when we miss daddy. I also prayed for strength for us as well as daddy. I can't imagine how hard this is on him....
In closing..... I encourage you to cry, cry in front of your kids, hold them, listen to them... let them know its ok to show emotion. We're all human, and its ok to "break" every now and again.
Sophi saw the tears coming from my eyes, as I held Liam. She looked up at me and said, "Mom, you are crying!" I said yes... remember crying is healthy and its ok to cry. She held back tears and stood aside a little bit. I told her, sometimes its important to cry and hold each other. She came and sat in my lap and said, she was going to be strong this time and not cry. I assured her that would be ok. I can't imagine what is going on in these kid's minds.... last time daddy deployed they were 17 months old. They really didn't remember much. It's only been a week, and they are grasping it more than I thought.
We skipped baths, and got dressed. Liam asked to wear one of daddy's "army shirts." Sophi asked to wear daddy's "red shirt". For the longest I didn't even realize what she was referring too.. until we went into our room. You see... I always leave daddy's night clothes on our nightstand, when he goes out of town. I don't wash them, I leave them there, where he left them... until he comes back. Sophi wanted to snuggle with his red sweatshirt that was there. Easy fix... snuggling with items that belong to daddy are the best way to "have him here" when he is so far way. Liam carried his "special forces" book along side of him and we all got in bed. I prayed to God to let us all cry in times of loneliness, when we miss daddy. I also prayed for strength for us as well as daddy. I can't imagine how hard this is on him....
In closing..... I encourage you to cry, cry in front of your kids, hold them, listen to them... let them know its ok to show emotion. We're all human, and its ok to "break" every now and again.
Friday, January 8, 2016
Deployment Day January 8, 2016
January 8, 2016
Well, today we had to take daddy to the airport for another deployment. This is the second one in two years. People think, it might get easier to say your goodbyes, when your spouse is called to duty... let me tell you, as a military wife who has said MANY goodbyes, it doesn't. I cried all morning, as I watched him with the kids, showing them picture books of him, reminding them to mark the days, on the calendar as the days pass. I tried to hold my composure, because I know I have to be strong for my husband, but also for the kids, but it is very hard to do, and sometimes a good cry is all you can do.
We got to the airport and I met a few other spouses, and girlfriends... which I was happy about. See, when your husband is deployed you find unity among other spouses that are dealing with the same thing. Its not the same, as those friends who have "traveling husbands" or either those who " have survived a deployment." It just makes things somewhat bearable when you have someone who you know their loved one is WITH your loved one. As your husband starts to say his goodbyes, and your eyes start tearing up, you know the time has come. The kids cried, very hard! Liam lost it as soon as we left the airport, Sophi cried... would cry harder as Liam cried. I just began to cry with them. As a parent, you have to be able to cry in front of your kids.. if they don't see your emotion during difficult times, they won't know its ok to show emotions. I cranked up KLOVE, the local Christian station, and told them we would go get ice cream.
It's amazing what ice cream and sunshine can do for the soul. We sat outside, laughed, danced, pretended to talk to "daddy" in the empty seat. Praise God for sunshine today, I'm not sure I would have survived this, had it been cold, wet, and miserable. We got home, and started our routine. We played, looked at pictures, talked about where daddy was headed. Watched daddy's airplane on the "track a flight" website. How grateful I am for this website... I tell ya, its the little things guys. Feeling as if you know exactly where your husband is at all times! It gives me peace of mine... I need that during this time. I need lots of peace.
As we were getting ready for bed, the kids asked if they could sleep with me. I didn't hesitate one bit, and said absolutely. We read "Daddy's Book" full of his pictures.. and said our prayers. The kids snuggled with me and I prayed silently to God. Praying for strength for all of us... praying for peace, praying for endurance and safety for Ellis. God, thank you for watching over us, and protecting us. Thank you for watching over Ellis, as I know you will continue to do. Thank you for your understanding and your patience as I may question why this is happening. I praise you, and am thankful to you!
Some scriptures I found tonight... that I love.
Romans 12:12 – Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
Philippians 4:13 – For I can do everything through Christ, Who gives me strength.
Psalm 112:7 – They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
Isaiah 41:10 – Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with My victorious right hand.
Psalm 16:8 – I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.
Well, today we had to take daddy to the airport for another deployment. This is the second one in two years. People think, it might get easier to say your goodbyes, when your spouse is called to duty... let me tell you, as a military wife who has said MANY goodbyes, it doesn't. I cried all morning, as I watched him with the kids, showing them picture books of him, reminding them to mark the days, on the calendar as the days pass. I tried to hold my composure, because I know I have to be strong for my husband, but also for the kids, but it is very hard to do, and sometimes a good cry is all you can do.
We got to the airport and I met a few other spouses, and girlfriends... which I was happy about. See, when your husband is deployed you find unity among other spouses that are dealing with the same thing. Its not the same, as those friends who have "traveling husbands" or either those who " have survived a deployment." It just makes things somewhat bearable when you have someone who you know their loved one is WITH your loved one. As your husband starts to say his goodbyes, and your eyes start tearing up, you know the time has come. The kids cried, very hard! Liam lost it as soon as we left the airport, Sophi cried... would cry harder as Liam cried. I just began to cry with them. As a parent, you have to be able to cry in front of your kids.. if they don't see your emotion during difficult times, they won't know its ok to show emotions. I cranked up KLOVE, the local Christian station, and told them we would go get ice cream.
It's amazing what ice cream and sunshine can do for the soul. We sat outside, laughed, danced, pretended to talk to "daddy" in the empty seat. Praise God for sunshine today, I'm not sure I would have survived this, had it been cold, wet, and miserable. We got home, and started our routine. We played, looked at pictures, talked about where daddy was headed. Watched daddy's airplane on the "track a flight" website. How grateful I am for this website... I tell ya, its the little things guys. Feeling as if you know exactly where your husband is at all times! It gives me peace of mine... I need that during this time. I need lots of peace.
As we were getting ready for bed, the kids asked if they could sleep with me. I didn't hesitate one bit, and said absolutely. We read "Daddy's Book" full of his pictures.. and said our prayers. The kids snuggled with me and I prayed silently to God. Praying for strength for all of us... praying for peace, praying for endurance and safety for Ellis. God, thank you for watching over us, and protecting us. Thank you for watching over Ellis, as I know you will continue to do. Thank you for your understanding and your patience as I may question why this is happening. I praise you, and am thankful to you!
Some scriptures I found tonight... that I love.
Romans 12:12 – Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
Philippians 4:13 – For I can do everything through Christ, Who gives me strength.
Psalm 112:7 – They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
Isaiah 41:10 – Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with My victorious right hand.
Psalm 16:8 – I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.
Friday, January 1, 2016
One Week Before Deployment - Poem
It's about a week before deployment my stomach is in knots.
I know you're in God's hands, this I pray for daily and a lot.
Deployments are never easy, ask any military spouse you see.
If only I could take them all away, I would pay that hefty fee.
The anxious thoughts that cross my mind, are ones I wouldn't want to repeat.
I know my God almighty will rescue me and keep me mostly upbeat.
I hope this deployment will go by fast, I know you pray this too.
I pray protection over you - I know you pray this as others will also do.
Dear God protect our servicemen and women, bring them all home safe and sound.
We will all be waiting on you all, until the last flight is inbound.
I know you're in God's hands, this I pray for daily and a lot.
Deployments are never easy, ask any military spouse you see.
If only I could take them all away, I would pay that hefty fee.
The anxious thoughts that cross my mind, are ones I wouldn't want to repeat.
I know my God almighty will rescue me and keep me mostly upbeat.
I hope this deployment will go by fast, I know you pray this too.
I pray protection over you - I know you pray this as others will also do.
Dear God protect our servicemen and women, bring them all home safe and sound.
We will all be waiting on you all, until the last flight is inbound.
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